Saturday, 7 June 2025

Fondler's Return

 Intro

Many years ago, we played a number of scenarios, designed for 'Sharp Practice', and published, by the TooFatLardies, as the 'Compleat Fondler'. This collection of scenarios follows the exploits of the eponymous Richard Fondler, from his early career in India, through the Peninsular War and on to Waterloo. Any resemblance to a certain Richard Sharpe is of course entirely coincidental (ahem).

We played these early games in 15mm and had great fun with the early scenarios set in India. I still remember with, great fondness, the moment when Fondler, reacting to a random event, fell off the walls of Rampoo.

I always intended to play the remaining scenarios, once I had built up my 28mm collection, but along came 'Sharp Practice 2', and we never returned to these early scenarios.........until now. 

Practice with Sharp Practice

It's been a while since we played, so we decided upon a practice game before we dusted off the much neglected Fondler.

This game was a simple encounter scenario between a British Light Column and their French counterpart from the rulebook.

The British, under Lt. Dundarse, fielded 4 groups of light infantry in line and 2 groups of 60th Rifles as skirmishers.

The French, under Lt. Pomfritte, similarly fielded Voltigeurs, in both line and skirmish order, plus a group of Dragoons.

Somewhere in Spain

Dundarse split his light infantry in to two Formations, each of 2 groups, led by himself and Sgt. Hogswill respectively. The 60th Rifles were fielded as separate groups  and moved out onto either flank.
By contrast Pomfritte, constricted by the terrain, brought on his main body in a column of 4 groups. These were screened by Sgt, Baguettes' Voltigeur skirmishers, and the Dragoons took post on their right flank.
The first few turns were dominated by the British, with a good run of cards. Sgt. Williamson advanced his group of 60th Rifles on to the very flank of the French, who were struggling to deploy. The 2nd group of 60th took up position in a vineyard and proceeded to take pot shots at the opposing voltigeurs. Lt. Roquefort and his Dragoons attempted to outflank the vineyard but came under fire from Sgt. Hosgswill's line, before they could dismount.

Pomfritte struggles to deploy

Pomfritte finally marshalled his troops into line but was suffering badly under rifle fire from the flank, whilst the Dragoons had drawn the attention of the Rifles in the vineyard.


Pomfritte struggles into line.

Meanwhile, Roquefort's Dragoons had dismounted and were trading shots with the Rifles, from the cover of the house. Unfortunately, a random event saw them throw caution to the wind and charge out of cover towards the German riflemen.


Roquefort's mad charge

Pomfritte, sensing that he was losing a grip on the battle unless he did something soon, split his line into two. Sgt. Camembert wheeled two groups to face off the flanking Rifles, whilst Pomfritte led a much depleted line of 2 groups forwards, into close range of Dundarse's British line.
The following turn saw Pomfritte's card come out first, and with flags to spend, delivered a Crashing Volley for the coup de grace. First fire at close range, and a Crashing Volley to boot, saw the British suffer a horrendous amount of Shock. Not only that but Dundarse was shot dead. 
At that point, the British conceded and we headed for the pub.


Pomfritte - now's your time. As someone once said.

Fondler's Rifles

This scenario, heavily inspired by 'Sharpe's Rifles', is set during Sir John Moore's retreat to Corunna.  The rear-guard of 95th Rifles is set upon by French Dragoons, and the battalion Quartermaster, Richard Fondler, takes command of the survivors and leads them into the hills.

The scenario design proved a bit of a challenge, but I think we managed to get it to work. The Fondler scenarios are designed for a 6 by 5 ft. table, but I was keen to see if the standard club 6 by 4 ft table would work. Another slight difficulty was the number of figures required - the original calls for two forces of Dragoons, totalling 50 troopers plus leaders. I used all my available Dragoons and mustered a force of 18 Dragoons on foot and 24 on horseback. A bit short of the original number but it would have to do. It also had the disadvantage that the Dragoons could not mount or dismount until enough casualties had been suffered to provide the necessary spare figures!

As per the original scenario, Fondler deploys from one corner of the table and dices for a number of free moves before the game begins.  The rocky hills, on the north of the table are impassable to horse and provide obvious shelter from the pursuing Dragoons. However, taking inspiration from the TV series, I added a wounded Captain Murray, carried on  a commandeered mule. Murray is unlikely to survive a night in the hills, giving Fondler an incentive to seek the shelter of the farm to the south of the table.

Fondler flees towards the hills

The pursuing Dragoons deploy from a Deployment Point, when the appropriate card is pulled. This force, of 18 Dragoons led by Sgt. Bertrand, have dismounted to allow them to pursue the Rifles into the hills.


Bertrand pursues

After trading a few shots, it was obvious that the Dragoons were no match for the Rifles. So rather than pursue an unequal fight in the hills, they instead manoeuvred down the track to try and catch the Rifles in the open as they left the cover of the hills.


The Dragoons manoeuvre on foot

Fearing that they could be cut off, Sgt. Paisley's men spent a flag to Step Out - and rolled 3 ones!

The big Irishmen demonstrates a remarkable turn of speed - not.

After two turns of the Blank card, the cards for the remaining French were placed into the deck. The additional cards heralded the arrival of 24 mounted Dragoons, led by Captain Visage du Vache. However, the apparent reinforcements are not part of the original French force and have their own separate  mission. These Dragoons have been sent by Colonel Daniel Laroux of the Imperial Guard Intelligence Service (not represented). Laroux's patrol is on the trail of a Spanish officer, in possession of valuable artefacts (possibly carried by mule), and have been attracted by the sound of fire.

Visage du Vache moves to the sound of the guns. 


Unable to traverse the rocky hills, Du Vache led his men towards the farm, hoping to head of the riflemen with the mule.

Du Vache heads towards the farm


Unfortunately, this gave a great flank shot to the massed Rifles in the rocks.


A nasty flank shot.

Here we had to leave it, at what was very much a stalemate. Du Vache was not going to catch his mule but, cut-off from the farm, Cpt. Murray's fate was sealed.

Fondler's Allies

In this scenario, Fondler's Rifles have been given the job of covering the destruction of a bridge over the River Tagus. However, as this is Spanish territory, Fondler is supported by 40 Spanish militia. To balance the scenario, I reduced the Rifles to 4 groups of six and the Spanish were similarly reduced from the original 60.

The French have the same force of Dragoons from the previous scenario, but have added a light gun.


Bridge over the River Tagus

For this scenario, we used SP2 style Deployment Points - at the end of the bridge, for the British, and a table corner, for the French.
The first card out was the French artillery, which was constrained to deploy touching the Deployment Point.

Newly painted French artillery.

Successive cards brought on the mounted force, which almost impossible to deploy in the regulation distance from the Deployment Point; causing something of a traffic jam and masking the gun.

Dragoons make passable imitations of sardines.

Before the Dragoons could move, the Allies formed line and poured fire into the massed target.

That's a lot of musketry coming the Dragoons way.

Visage du Vache leads his men on at a canter hoping
to break into a gallop to get out of the Spanish arc of fire.

Sgt. Bertrand, hemmed in, resorts to a charge - which falls short.

Predictably, the Spanish card comes out first, driving off du Vache's Dragoons.

Soon to be followed by Bertrand.


At this point, with three Broken groups, the foot Dragoons had not yet managed to shake out into line and the gun had not fired.
To add insult to injury, the first card out, in the following turn, was the Tiffin card; signifying the end of a chapter. Broken groups are removed from the table and attached leaders rout. This signalled the end, as the French morale plummeted to zero. 

I think this scenario would have benefited from a larger table, allowing the Dragoons to deploy out of range. Also a secondary Deployment Point is probably needed to avoid a traffic jam.
This was my first time out with Militia and I'm not convinced by the larger 10 man groups - they pack a significant punch.
Hopefully, the next scenario will see some actual French infantry.







Friday, 28 February 2025

Chaos in Port Royal

1697 and Port Royal has been hit by an earthquake that collapsed most of the town into the sand spit.

2024 I do the Firelock Kickstarter and chaos and the Petains playtest the new rules in early 2025.

Apparently I only took four pictures, two of which were identical.  The first game saw Captain Quincy Smollett face down Barnacle Parker.  The second saw Big Chief Cackypants routed by the now notorious Barnacle, in a shameful display of failed damage tests.

The terrain

Fat Errol pushed them out of this position

A view of my paper building terrain.  Very slidey.

Wednesday, 26 February 2025

Mighty Arsemose and the tiny Sphinx.

A battle over the sacred statue.  A mini Sphinx known throughout the land as the tiny Sphincter.

Sunrise as the Egyptians defend against attacking Sea Peoples

Pharoah Arsemose may be defender but once again its the attacker that gets charged first.   All of the Egyptian Generals charge. And my points cup runneth over!

And the Egyptians win on both flanks.

The defeats in the centre will of course be ignored when it comes to telling the tale in the stonework!

That Hittitey fellow grabs the sacred Sphinx

And although I kill his bodyguard he sits on the Sphinx 

Pharoah's guard is killed   He fights on.

So a win on two flanks a loss in the centre.  But when the sacred amphora were counted I had two and the Sea Peoples none!  A win for civilisation.

If the game had gone one more turn barbarism would have succeeded!

And the tiny Sphincter remains unviolated!


Friday, 21 February 2025

The Testiad, a Glorious End!


Sing oh Muse, tell of the watery end,

of King Testes, and his funeral rites,

in the sacred lake of Ares.


For the last time Testes King of Lesbos, and Pajamarama King of somewhere unpronounceable joined as allies to raid the sacred Temple of Ares.

Ares Temple and the sacred lake

Testes is randomly selected as the violator of the gods Temple.  We have stolen his statue and his reliquaries.

And behind Testes Pajamarama and his boys.

Over on the right Patroclitorus and the rest of Pajamarama lads.

And to our front the locals show up, a bit upset that we have nicked the statue.

The enemy chariots catch our skirmishers

They drive back the skirmishers but Pajamarama charges their lights.

Testes charges down driving them back, but Patroclitorus arrives with his chariots to take over the statue and loot 

Some consternation as Patroclitorus fords the river.  Where's he off to?  Well he has the loot! Oh, well back to the fighting!

Pajamaramas chariots get into the fray.  No staying power.


Testes challenges the opposing hero.  They refuse to fight!

But they later bring over their big guy who beats Fated Testes in combat.
The King falls.  I'm amazed he lasted five games.

Testes is buried by chucking him into the lake.  It's how he would have wanted to go.

As Patroclitorus vanishes over the enemy base line poor Pajamarama is left alone, still standing.

And thus a win for the raiders, and a terrible night for the gods statue.  Get the blue nun out of the fridge!

Midgard will return in the summer!

Friday, 14 February 2025

The Testiad, Book IV, Hold the hill.

O for a Muse of fire, that would ascend 
The brightest heaven of invention, 
A table for a stage, ancient wargamers to act the parts 
And bystanders to behold the swelling scene!

Sing O Muse, tell us of Ancient Testes, King of Lesbos.
Who trusted in his ally, a pajama wearing fellow.
Whose dice were small.  As they say in Thebes,
Beware of Greeks rolling sh*te dice.

Testes, King of Lesbos, a man advanced in years and marked as fated (no saving throws for this old lad)  The mission was to hold the hill, but half of our allies failed to show.  Even the elusive Patroclitorus was there ready for action, a true Prince of Lesbos.
No sign of Pajama man!

Opposite came the blood thirsty enemy, led by men who were cunning and who had wisely sacrificed to fate, for their dice were formidable, and they had forces that outnumbered us.

Would this be the day Old Testes met his Fate?


We place on the hill line as Defender's.  The Attacker's then match us.

Patroclitorus on our far right flank.

And Testes on the left  leaving our centre to our bold ally Mudduwata

First blood to us as we charge down at them.

But that flank I'd vulnerable.  Testes breaks an enemy unit but loses two of his own.

And miracles do happen, Patroclitirus holds the line against overwhelming numbers.

The central fight goes badly too as we are shoved back.

And my last picture of the game as Patroclitorus still stands.  

The game ended with almost a draw in terms of tokens.
Good fun!