The Testiad, book III.

Sing oh Muse!
Tell of Patroclitorus,
Mighty King of Lesbos,
Battlesmiter, slayer of 
Whitamarama, King of Prebendsia
Wielder of Zeus' mighty tin opener.

King Testes of Trussa and Pajamarama, Lord of somewhere unpronounceable, rivals now allies raided the Lands of the Whitamarama of Hatti, with Caananites as his subject allies.  

Forth from the ranks strode Patroclitorus, King of Lesbos, declaring his lineage, challenging the enemy.  Against him came Whitamarama, Lord of Zeus Mighty tin opener.
Alas no photo was taken, yet Patroclitorus prevailed, slew his enemy, used the Tim opener to strip him of his Dendra armour and return to his chariots victorious!

And to my left Pajamarama advanced.  But he had offended the gods and his rolls of chance were as urine from a very sick goat.

The Caananites came on to my front, lead by their Priest King in good order.

And Pajamarama advanced, cursed by the gods his confidence yet high.

Fierce fighting with the Caananites who showed their mettle

And bold Patroclitorus drove forward, whilst old King Testes did very little

By those Caananites put up a good fight.  

Yet oh the woes, a curse on the dice of Pajamarama!  But slowly we forced them back.

In the very centre Patroclitorus broke through their chariots, scattering them.

But by pub o' clock the Sea Peoples had the fuller cup of fate. 
The battle was done.  The attacking invaders had prevailed.
Yet the gods further cursed Pajamarama and ancient Testes was reminded that his fate weighed in the balance.

Can the Hatti prevail? Will Whitamarama return?

Will Testes deliver a mighty master stroke?

Can Patroclitorus be found?

Is Pajamarama still cursed.  Should he sacrifice seven white dice to the gods?