When news of this reaches Lord Pelton he mobilises the men of the Farthingdale Estate Militia, determined to put a stop to Farage's plans. Lord Pelton believes (erroneously) that the construction lies on his land but moreover he detests Farage for it was Frankie who replaced His Lordship's good friend and bridge partner Charles "Chuffer" Dandridge as governor at HMP Durham.
But the BUF bully boys are on the scene first and occupy the area around the fuel tanks and two of the almost completed ammunition bunkers.
The arrival of Mayor Blair and the Pelton Chamber of Commerce rifle section on behalf of His Lordship causes initial confusion for both sides. Wasn't he fighting for the communists last week? It appears that Anthony has taken duplicity to new heights.
Mr Meekie arrives in his armoured prison van, a home built affair complete with eight armed screws poking their rifles out of the loopholes. In front of them are an innocent group of Boy Scouts, making notes on the local flora and fauna and trying to earn their Molotov Cocktail badges.
"FASCISTS FIRE ON BOYS SCOUTS"
The first atrocity in what promises to be a pretty atrocious campaign.
Remarkably unscathed Scout Master Yewtree leads his boys quickly into the cover of the nearby allotments and, as if on cue, the cavalry arrive.
No, really it is the cavalry. To be more accurate the Sacriston Hunt under their Huntmaster, Mr Peel. With a Tally Ho! they level their shotguns and advance upon Meekie and his infernal van.
Say it is not so! Huntmaster Peel is immediately felled by a lucky shot.
With the riders in disarray and the scouts desperately looking for dock leaves to salve their nettle rash all looks bleak.
But what's this? The unmistakable soft rustle of cotton flannel, the smell of Brylcreem and the dull thud of leather on willow.
Yes, the Waldridge First Eleven Cricket Team have arrived under Cpt."Bovril" Botham. Armed with rifles and baked bean tin bombs they'll surely make short work of these prisoner johnnies. "I say, it looks like their lower order's full of the lower orders." quips ace bowler Chunky Bickersdyke.
In an act unfathomable bravado Mr Meekie takes his already clattering van off-road. The language coming from the back of the vehicle has to be heard to be believed as it's unfortunate occupants are thrown around at speeds of almost 12 miles per hour.
Not only that but Meekie has blocked the Old Lags section under Mr Barraclough from firing at the approaching cricketers.
While the BUF seek to protect their ill-gotten gains, the Old Lags under Mr Barraclough finally get a shot at the cricketers. Big Billy Brexit and his thugs have broken into an adjacent bunker and are manning the windows. Any approach by the Farthingdale boys will be caught in a deadly crossfire.
Undeterred the First Eleven reply in kind. Loombucket with his elephant gun is in the allotments, desperate to get a shot at Meekie's lumbering lorry. But try as he might the opportunity refuses to present itself.
Officer Barraclough is hit! Muttering "Oh bother" he falls to the ground, but it does not look to be a serious wound and his men pick him up and prop him against the back of the bunker.
With the horsemen falling back in disarray and little headway being made against the defended BUF position, the Estate Militia decide to withdraw. Farage, in his characteristically boorish manner, gives them an ungentlemanly salute as they fall back.
This is an aerial photograph dating from 1940.
A modern equivalent can be seen at
https://zoom.earth/#54.812866,-1.54963,16z,map
It was a Ministry of Supply ammunition depot for new ammunition and bulk explosives for and or produced by the Royal Ordnance Factories during World War II and is laid out in the classic ordnance depot pattern. The main train line is just to the west and before HMP Frankland was built the depot would have been connected to this line with a spur.
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