The Fat Tanker 3: Burning Ring of Fire

1942 began with a light terrain battle in Durham Wargames Group's Western Desert campaign.  The British were favourites for this first leg, two crusaders and three Valentines versus two Italian M13/40s and two Panzer IIs.

Bumfluff was unduly valiant in choosing the Crusader II.  Well it was the cheapest model I could source.  We diced for Scenario and once again it was fat boy.  Did the dice know something I didn`t? 

Those low rises didn`t provide much cover, but there were a lot of them, and the Allied Commander's plan was to push the two fast tanks onto the left flank and hold the Valentines back to shoot.

In retrospect the Valentine's armour meant that they could absorb punishment the Crusader's couldn`t, but we stuck with the plan and Bumfluff with his pal Dundas motored their Crusaders up the blue towards the Axis.


With our senior officer on the far right Dundas and I were left to it, and to be honest it didn`t go well.  Not that either of us would get unduly snippy with our senior officer would we!  Honest!  

Today's battlefield.

Bumfluff's tank, sporting dark wave and wheel camouflage goes hull down

Literally my view of the other side of the table.  I find that I become myopic, focused on the immediate danger.

Dundas comes to a sticky end, bailing out.

Bumfluff goes forward using that "fast."

Across the table the Valentines use a formation!

Bumfluff gets his rear end shot up by Bad Alphonse in his M13/40, loads of temporary damage accruing. 

Bumfluff reverses into his own dust!  Fat tanker tactics 101, but too late he is brewed up, not by Bad Alphonse but by that goal moocher "Ace" Rimmer.  Our fat hero is last seen running for his life with his turret ring on fire... Makes a chap downright snippy!

The three Valentines in formation, all picking on a single Pz II, whilst Bumfluff's Crusader took on two Axis tanks to himself...

"Ace" Rimmer motors across the table, having killed Bumfluff`s tank he now sets his sights on a Valentine...

A duel with the two Axis tanks on the flank begins.

 

Rimmer's tactics seem to be fire and lots of movement.
But too late for the Axis they are reduced to 2:1, and withdraw from the table...

At least I think that's what happened.  my myopic view of the battle was quite limited.  Poor Dundas, ended up bailing.  Bumfluff meanwhile had his tank explode, and was last seen running through the sand dunes with his turret ring on fire!...  a fraught little game... best described as a snippy situation...

The Fat Tanker's second game

What Ho chaps,
Bumfluff here, 2nd Lt "Bumfluff " Farthingdale  2RTR. This week we were at Gazala, and Benghasi, shocking sanitation.

My tank is still not running properly, colleagues in the Regiment have pointed out that this is probably due to my weight.

Benghazi, Jewel of the Med... what a dump

The allied plan, go right wing!  What could possibly go wrong!  Bumfluff's tank once again refuses to start...

Is that a panzer up that alley?

 As Lt. Elworth Beest and Sergeant Dundas motor past him Bumfluff's engine stalls.  he declares that he is kicking his driver... 

Its cat and mouse round two... Benghasi

The Axis mass on the right

Bumfluff hides, and fights a duel to his front

The A9s of the Allies swing out wide onto the right dealing out some punishment...

"Ace" Rimmer appears, having motored across the table

Why is it that tactics seem to be to snuggle up

Bumfluff backs up, protecting his shiny metal ass

The bird's eye view, as Bumfluff backs up again.  Careful of his arse that boy!

"Ace Rimmer" motors around to try to take Bumfluff up the rear, but its too late. Phase One is over, Win for the Allies in phase 1

Phase two, still in Benghasi, still a dump

Phase two, Cesare Pavarotti puts his tank into a trap

As the British tanks swarm

Three to one, and one of those three is a Valentine.  Still the laugh is on them when they try to get Cesare out of his turret hatch  The Axis win the second phase!

Three Leeks on our shirts...

Yaki dar boyos, Dai the Drag-on here.  Prince of Pontins-Prestatyn, Welsh isn't it, in a sequined frock gambeson!  

Had some visitors round our way we have.  Scots and the Frenchies it was.  Come for a lovely punch up see.

24 points of Lion Rampant.  The list was one unit of Mounted Sergeants (that's me see) three foot yeomen with javelins and two archers.

The battlefield was near my Uncle Emrys place at Llanfairpwllgwyngyll.  Staunch member of the LBGT resistance to the English Emrys, isn't it boyo?

Uncle Emrys place at Llanfairpwllgwyngyll

The army of the Drag-on gets on table.

Look you, its the Scotchmen isnt it!  

Oh and the Frenchies too.  Whatever Emrys has in those cow sheds they wants it boyo...

The Drag-on in trouble.  Those French are dressed in solid iron boyo.  Prince Dai dies...

The Scotch creeping around the hedgerows

The thing to do in Wales is to crawl through the woods apparently

And on those Frenchies come

Now the Welsh have heard of the Golden Spurs at Courtrai, and have adopted their tactics against these French...  Box yourself into a defensive position...

And they're off, its Guy in white leading from Guy in brown, and they take the jump...

But half of the French wander off to have a go at the Scotchmen...

And its the Scots who have a go at the Welsh position.  Not that successful...

So its bows, followed by javelins.  The Welsh have a good tactical position

French Guy leaps into the position, claiming that he is now the Wolf in the sheep fold.  These are Welshmen boyo!  Sheep is one thing they know all about!  The Frenchman is killed...

The Scotchmen have a mad moment and charge over the bridge.  Its it just me or ...

Its a scrap as the Scots throw back their hated enemy, the French crossbowmen

Meanwhile the Gui the Wolf is unceremoniously thrown out of the Welsh sheep fold, before being stabbed up the buttocks by a javelin.

The Scotch commander is over bold and rolls snake eyes...  

But the Scots charge has ripped the heart out of the French advance

Game over.  The Welsh cling on, as do the Scots but there is no denying the Victory of the French.

The memorial to Dai the Drag-on Prince of Pontins-Prestatyn, cross dresser and gay pride of the valleys, can be found near Emrys house, Llanfairpwllgwyngyll.