Monday 30 December 2019

Peaky Durham Blokes

Farmer Johnson and his boys have been thrown out of the Shoes Public House after last orders.  In a furious mood he has armed up his crew and gone to settle scores with his great enemy, Constable Clarence Wigamore, the Constabulary Kosher, the Beast of Belmont, the Syrup of Stanley.
Police Sergeant Finnigan, that weighty icon of law and order has armed his watch and brought them to the town: Whistles sound!  "'Ere, I wants a word with you my lad!"


Sergeant Finnigan appears and valiantly attempts to hide behind a signpost. PC Wigamore hides behind the big boss and readies his shiny truncheon.

The Police advance into the square and Farmer Johnson and his Peaky blokes come on.
PC Clarence Wigamore behind the statue plinth.



My first look at Fistful of Lead!


Clarence vaults the fence into the public toilet and truncheons Mr Weedy Cove, knocking him back into the toilet bowls...


A PC falls shot by Dodgy Geezer.  The Law is losing...


Sergeant F runs out of ammo.
PC McGrirk runs out of ammo, charges in and beats a villain to death with his fists.   Farmer Johnson fires both barrels at zero range and misses.   He hit nothing all game!   He is shot downby the police as he rages on about the price of stout in the Shoes.



Our brave Police Sergeant presents a huge target and is felled by a pistol shot from the toilets. 
Farmer Johnson recovers, still in a murderous rage.  With only two men left the Police withdraw.   A Writ is sworn out for the arrest of this murderous crew.

3 comments:

  1. Oh dear, Farmer Johnson has done it again; I fear we may be in for a feud. I can see Granny Finnigan and the Toffee Factory girls descending on the market place now.

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  2. In the unseemly fracas in the public urinal PC Wiggamore lost his hairpiece. It cost 2 guineas from Maurice of Seaton Sluice. Needless to say, there'll be hell toupee.

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  3. Gran has promised to "fettle" Farmer Johnson, and promises to gather the Factory girls to "sort it." Sergeant Finnigan is much recovered since it transpires he is so fat that bullets merely stun him.

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