Bold Sir Nigel's Tale

 The scenario is 'Cherchez l'Abbe!'

The evil D'jimm has burnt the Abbey of Hanjara at Sha-Wahah. The elderly abbot Jakobus was separated from his monks and fled into the hills.  The intrepid crusaders will need to rescue the Abbott.

The search for the Abbott will be in the rocky hills above the oasis - no doubt the nefarious D'jimm will have forces in the area to try and thwart the rescue

The forces of the rescuers are the retinues of: Teutonic Grand Master Heindrich, Bishop Huge of Cestria and Bold Sir Nigel de Nadas of Lealholm.

From the Prologue to the Crußadebadly Tales by Geoffrey Grosßer

Since whan the Great Crusade dare

Men had wondered aboot his hair

Fitting within his coif so snug

A Knigcht bold, who wore no rug.

Sir Nigel's Tale

An Abbott there was, his name clyped Jac

Away from his cell, he did not pack,

He told his monks he was quite fine

But he made off with the communion wine.

Drunk as a Cockerell he ran around

But near an Oasis he then was found

Bold Sir Nigel found ye quarry

Jac's only words "I'm so sooo sorry!"

The War-Spur issue 2, The Turbulent Priest.

The Oasis of Handjob at Sha-Waddy-Waddy.  Father Jac is out there, somewhere in them thar hills.

Bishop Huge takes the centre position.  He leads the Crusaders in an overloud prayer to smite the Heathen.  He swears by the relic of St Lancelot's mummified middle leg that when Father Jac is found he shall be taken by Holy Church as a Holy character into the Bishop's retinue.  It is an ecumenical matter.

The Grand Master takes the position of honour on the right.

Bold Sir Nigel takes the open left.  Once again the Bishop promises support to both his allies and doesn't really deploy to support either.

And Sir Nigel advances with some enthusiasm.

The Skirmishing wild Turks have a pop at the Teutonic Order.  The claws of El Pea can be seen shuffling the band.

One of Sir Nigels foot Sergeant units has fallen out with their bold commander.  They lag for the whole fight.  

The terrain makes life difficult for everyone, but the crusader left and centre come on in formed lines.

The Teutonics march forwards on the right, pretty much unsupported.

The view from the Islamic lines.  I say lines but what I mean are shuffling congar lines.

Wild Turks vs Turcopoles.  It's a batter and counter batter fight.

The Teutonic Archers struggle to keep up, mainly due to the terrain

The Bishop's men take the central hill.

The Islamic Fierce foot spot the Teutonics and go a little mad.

The Bishop's men spot the Berber Infantry.  I relinquish the hill to close in.

But the Bishop misjudged his distance to the enemy levies.  I did measure it but was so far over the table that failing eyesight misread it.

The Guhlams are driven back.  Our enemies cower behind the hills.

And over on the right the Germans have forced the enemy off, revealing and winning a VP.

The cake interlude, and yes, I'd bitten half of it off in one go.  Ginger cake.  Very nice.

El Pea's Fierce foot respond as most of his units have, with less than Huge enthusiasm.  Run Away!
I note that spell checker changes El Pea to Elsie.  As a token of respect for our desert foe we will continue to call him so.

The Teutons drive forward as Elsie's men hide behind the big hill.
Parsifal falls, as does Tristran.  The Bishop offers to write to Isolde.

Bold Sir Nigel has a right proper go at the Ghulams, seeing them off.

And Sir Nigel spurs on to Victory

The Teutons play round and round the Hill with Elsie

EL Elliot throws fire bombs at me.  Not too effective but... 

The Bishop decides that the enemy serfs are an anathema to Godde.  He goes all out, wins, but gets one of his men killed

The Islamic foot redeploy, again. 

But Lo!  The cry goes up.  Father Jac is found!

Victory tokens.
Sir Nigel regals us with tales of his short crossed goat.

And from the clump of palm trees the plaintive voice of the Abbott.  "Feck, Drink... I`m so sooo sorry!"

Quotes from oour Hoste. 

Its important to get it up.

You peak too early

(His reference to a dead camel as a ghoul-lam will not be mentioned)

Most Gallant Knight Points

Bishop Farthingdale 3 (Kept the centre and won a hill)

D'Pidelin 4 (Good dance moves)

Grand Master 5 (Won a victory token)

Bungdit Din.  3 (Missing in action) 

Amir Elliot 3 (it burns!)

Sir Nigel 6  (Hero of the hour)

Oour Hoste 4 (double entendre x 2 again)

The Grand Master's Tale

The Prologue

Willom ye pilgrims gathered Seven,

Gulf Strike on until Eleven,

"Grand Master Q," Quoth oour Hoste, 

"Telle us a Tale, about thy most

Holy Crusade, and your Woeful day."

We gathered to hear him have his say...

The Grand Master's Tale

Three bold Generals, old yet hale,

Form the matter of this tale,

Deployed Crusaders on table E,

They really were a sight to see.

A half mad Baron, a Fatte Bishop of Godde, 

But these were not the ones most odde,

Beside these two, newly made,

Rested the Teutonic First Reich crusade.

Germans all, Panzer troops,

They formed in very widespread groups,

"Gott Mitt Uns" they raised the shout

But by ten o'clock they'd been found out!

Writ by ye Author, Geoffrey Grocer

The War-Spur Comic for boys, 1960

The Game

The Djimm. keeper of men's souls, holder of the dice of fate.  Blue guy.

The tower of St Kevin

The Bishop deploys in the centre, holding only a tiny part of the Line.

The Quote: "I`m squeezed against him...  but only because I`ve lost weight!"

Baron D'Pidlin on our left

The First Reich Teutonic Knights on our right. 
The post of most honour held by the Grand Master and his "minions."

Sheik McGurk begins the poor dice roll competition.  The first of many he would roll.

And the Baron D'Pidelin enthusiastically joins the competition.   

The Bishop demonstrates his tactics, clumped groups with the mounted reserves behind...  This after he got lost on the way to the battle.

Baron P's forces advance, himself not so much.

Quote:  "I think I`ve accidentally used a card... twice..."

And he keeps doing it.

Gott Mitt Uns!  And off they go.

The Bishop of Cestria boxes clever, and I mean boxes...

Amir Elliot opposite advances carefully.  Blocking terrain this.

Islamic crossbows, bleedin` deadly

Quote from Baron P.  I used an Ace on that!

But the Teutons kill the opposing General Bung dit Din.  His brother Ramd dit din and Cousin Slipped it Din take command

The Bishop reveals his expert archers and they kick ass.

Captain General Grand Marshal Heinrich Walpot von Bassenhiem goes to visit his Teutonic ancestors to strains of "hunting der wabbit..."

Ah those mounted Crossbowmen

And though they thought young Tannhauser killed, yet he rose again, but failed his courage test.

Baron P's Dice luck.  Shite...

The end of the mounted crossbows

Baron P goes all in.

Quote:This is going to be a climactic action.

Yet the Baron`s dice luck.

The end game.  tremendous stuff.  A great restart to the Gulf Strike 

A final Quote from oour Hoste. 

We must break this down into some two on two action.

Most Gallant Knight Points

Bishop Farthingdale 1 (Survived losing only one man)

D'Pidelin 2 (Won 2 combats)

Grand Master 3 (Killed in action with most of his men)

Bungdit Din.  3 (Victorious and killed in action) 

Amir Elliot 1 (No unit loses)

El McGurk 2 (an impressive fight ending in a tactical draw)

Oour Hoste 2 (2 x devastating double entendre)