Ase, constipated Jarl of the Frisians has sold his services to Harald the Barrel, a Dane claiming to be a King. Once again Earl Odda was to defend his homeland, once again he took position atop a ridge of rough going hills.
Canute the less Constipated, son of Ase, took his boat crews into the line of battle, only to discover that once again Jarl Egil the Grumpy was on the hill in front.
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| The field of battle. Ulf, Egil's son on the hills awaiting the Frisian attack. |
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| Balder the Bold, the most lethal Viking leader in the North advances on Egil's Son. Canute fails to move |
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| Harald the Barrel, stout Viking, advances fearlessly. A Saxon spanking looks in order. |
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| But Balder shames his ancestors, as his men run for it. Not keen on assaulting up hill. The lads have started calling him Balder Shitepants. |
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| As Harald and his men attack. |
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| Canute remembers his honour and advances. |
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| Canute, mighty son of Ase, gains ground up the hill and slays Ulf, starting a bloodfeud with Ulf's line. |
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| The Barrel, also mighty, defeats the Saxons facing him. |
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| Harald breaks the Saxon line. The Vikings hold the centre. |
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| The view from the trees above. Earl Odda has some problems. Five Viking units against two Saxon and their ally. |
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| Canute moves to take the hill, and wins the victory for his ally. When the spoils are divided it is Canute who claims the greater part as payment. |
Epilogue...
Canute and Ulf's clan declare the blood feud.
Ase is leading the plunder stakes for this year's Viking cruise.
Gorm the less, of Ragnar's men was later sent home following a goat stealing episode. Rumours are now circulating that he was caught having unnatural and energetic sexual relations with a goat, and consequently is now suspected to be a Christian Priest of some sort.
The goat was liberated from such Christian foulness by Jarl Ase, but the subsequent goat doner kebab has done nothing to release his constipation.
The turtle's head still eludes him.
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