Rocking the Khabsa, Crusade Game Three

The Crußadebadly Tales by Geoffrey Großer.

From the Prologue:

Noo in days of The Great Crusade

Was a man so poorly made

Stonding aboot nervously fiddling

His name, Balian of Piddling

Àn unworthy foe, a fellow rude

His thrusting codpiece very crude

Yet he a crusader with all his might

Even though his dice were shite.

The Piddler's Tale

The town of Khasba, rich with fruit

Overfilled with heathen loot

Attracted the interest of evil men

Among them no true Christian 

Yet stoutly defended was this site

By men whose dice were far from shite

The battle would be judged by godde

It's outcome then, distinctly odde.

The Game

The Christians will be raiding the wealthy arab settlent of Khabsa.  The settlement is famed for its cattle and dates from its palm groves

The Crusaders for this game are:

Sir Archie of Balamory

Balian d'Pidlin

Sir Nigel de Nadas

The War-Spur Issue 3

D' Pidlin's Tale

To be continued...

The D`Jimm has called his faithful to defend Khabsa.  El Fattii, El Q, and Elliott have answered his summons

The Crusaders have a plan

Fattii samples the delights of Madam Kitty's

In the centre Islamic Infantry swarm among the buildings

On the left EL Q has sent his horsemen forward to tempt out the enemy

On the right El Elliot uses the terrain to screen his advance. 

El Fattii has great trouble deploying in that narrow gap.  Even more trouble actually activating anything.  Poor dice all around here.

Bold Sir Nigel comes on.

EL Q, lord of the Quiff, faces the Scottish Crusade.  He skirmishes with his horse as they advance.

And El Elliott shows he has this game sussed as he moves his units in self supporting lines..

El Q grabs the cows.

But De Pidelin also manages to secure some cattle. 

And in the centre, failed activation follows failed activation.  We do get into one building and steal the dates.

The Scots come on apace.  Wee Archie the Laird accuses EL Q of "Premature Evacuation" 

But El Q And Wee Archie come to grips as an epic fight begins between the two.

Over on the left Baron P complains that none of his units are activating (and I have sympathy)  What angers the forces of Islam is his brazen attempt to seduce our camels.   "Come this way my beauties."  When brother Belcher, his "Holy man" objects the baron calls him a "Tw*t"

Hammer and tongs as Wee Archie is driven back.  I pointed out that the combat dice of the Scots was superlative, but their morale dice shockingly bad.  Its almost as if they have been drinking?

No, I still can`t smile about that.  In one volley of crossbow bolts Bold Sir Nigel's men kill five of my bowmen and drive the rest away in rout.  That is a dice roll for the record books.

A shocked El Fattii stands aghast!

On the right El Elliott fights a long game with the Baron's poorly motivated men.

Wee Archie kills El Q, and has a go at the fanatic foot.  Archie is really trying for man of the match.

El Fattii sneaks the camels away, to plaintive cries of "No come back my beauties" from the Baron P. 

But Bold Sir Nigel is now attacking in the centre.  The Black Guard see him off.  The hero shot, his two back to back Men at Arms.

Having seen off the men at arms the Black guard are charged by Sir Nigel's foot Sergeants, only for these to be seen off too.  El Elliott also going for man of the match.

Wee Archie is left alone, and then falls to the remaining Islamic forces on this side.  He was later found on the field of battle sleeping off a three bottle Buckfast session.  Godde Bless that Man. 

All these failed activations grates on El Fattii.  Ooure Hoste points out that its probably the last turn if I`m going to get off.  Matron!  

And again.  

The hero shot.  Sergeant John Bren of Sir Nigel's Company.  Leader of the Crossbows he drove two units of Islamic archers out of cover inside buildings with one volley at each.  The real man of the match? 

But El Fattii proves his status as a sneaky veteran git.  He throws Greek fire inside the building to burn the stores.

The Black Guard are ridden down by Sir Nigel/

As the forces of Islam withdraw.

Even Baron P's men join in as Victory becomes clear.

It all looks over

But wait.  El Elliot challenges Sir Nigel. 
three simultaneous dice

Elliott 6 5 4
Sir N: 5 4 4
Sir Nigel falls Heroically.  

Wee Archie and Sir Nigel were both discovered alive on the field of battle after these events.  Archive the Laird had a "Bangin' Buckfast heedache."  Sir Nigel had a scimitar scar on his scalp, and in future would wear  his hair in a distinct and individual fashion to hide the "Mark of Elliott." 

Most Gallant Knight Points

Bishop Farthingdale/El Fattii 5 (Not impressive at all but saved the camels)

D'Pidelin 6 (saved some cows but lusted after my camels)

Grand Master/El Q 7 (Saved the cattle and died in battle.)

Wee Archie/Bungdit Din.  6 (Possible "Man of the match?") 

Amir Elliot 8 (Commander of the heroic Black Guard)

Sir Nigel 9  (Fallen Hero)

Oour Hoste 6 (Excellent double entendre)

 

Sir Nigel tops the Gallantry Leaderboard for the third week.