Wee Archie's Tale 'o the Great Crusade

From the Prologue to Geoffrey Großer'' Crusadbadly Tales:

Willom there was a wee yonge Laird

A knight who joined the great crusade

And it's true that we all know the story

The tale 'o Archie from Balamory

And a warning to make you think

About the evils of the drink.

Wee Archie's Tale

Quick to fight, quick with blade

The story of the Scot's Crusade

The dice they threw for every fight

Revealed to us their manly might

Yet the dice they threw for all morale

Really was not good at all.

The moral my friends, to make you think

Avoid the perils of the Demon drink. 

The Crusaders face the enemy in fair and open battle.

And wee Archie gets a nice big hill

And once again the Bishop cautiously creeps up the flank

The Scots cavalry patrol in front.

And Bold Sir Nigel is hampered by the terrain

The battle for the little hillock begins.

Whilst the Leper Knight does most of the Bishop's fighting

And the Bishop himself relies on dressage, even claiming to have invented the "sport"

Swarms of lights to the front

Wee Archie boldly gets stuck in

And he sees off the rabble

And Sir Nigel complains that he has brought a knife to an archery fight

And indeed he has troubles on that flank

Finally His Lordship the Bishop gets stuck in, clearing the flank

And Nigel goes for the same tactic

Yet in the centre Archie's horse are being whittled down.
Still he has that nice hill.

And to be fair to the Wee Laird he fights well.

But is left alone, target of any old arrow thrower around.

The Bishop regains control of his boys, and brings them back into threat mode on the flank.  He really wanted to dispute with the Islamic leader, an honest religious discussion, but discovered that he had mistaken a Wild Turk for a Ghulam.  Trickery with flags!

The long shot of the right flank.  The impression I got was that it fought itself to a stand still.  The Sad fall of El Pea to a lucky blow attracted sympathy and mockery from all sides.

Archie takes the small hillock and gallops around
in the middle of the battlefield, clearly drunk

The Bishop has driven all of his enemies off.  He lost no units, no thanks to those reluctant, newly painted, crossbowmen.

Nigel was still hanging on.  Hard fought on that flank.

But the enemy were closing in.

And as the battle ended Archie was still drunk as a rooster, the Victor and "man of the match."

The Roll of Dishonour.  

Bishop "He's a good judge of 6"

El Q "That's below the belt"

El Pea and the lucky blow attracted some comment.  Arrow up 

his wadi being favourite.

Most Gallant Knight Points

Sir Nigel/the Grand Turk  13 (+2  for another desperate fight)

Grand Master/El Q 13 +2 (Well fought sir but you owe the Bishop a "religious discussion")

D'Pidelin/El Pea 12 (+2 for his manly struggle with his dice, and fall to a lucky blow.)

Amir El Liott 10 ( a no show)

Oour Hoste 10 (For spot on/ dodgy rules interpretation, depending upon which side you were on)

Bishop Farthingdale/El Fattii 10 (A +3 for not losing any units

Wee Archie/Bungdit Din.  10 (+3 for Valour and a +1 man of the match point from Father Jac) 

Sir Nigel ties with the Grand Master again top of the Gallantry Leaderboard week.  Its all getting closer.